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Gimp

Gimpy is Earth's mightiest hero, sworn to eliminate pollution and corporate greed wherever it may hide. Despite his tendency to drink heavily and then creep on chat, he still remains a role model and inspiration to children everywhere.

Biography Edit

In the summer of 1990, Gaia, the goddess of the Earth grew weary of mankind's evil. She assembled and entrusted 5 pure hearted young people with rings of power; Kwame from Africa was given the ring of earth, Wheeler from North America was given the ring of fire, Linka from the Soviet Union was given the ring of Wind, Gi from Asia was given the power of water, and Ma-Ti the little shit that nobody liked was given the power of heart because Gaia secretly wanted him to die as fast as possible. Together, these teens were known as the Planeteers, and were charged with the task of saving the planet from those who would destroy it through greed. When the task proved too much for the Planeteers, they united their five power rings to summon Gimpy, who took the form of a flamboyant superhero. Gimpy had the power of one million men, and the hair of at least a trillion women, and he single-handedly beat the guys, did all the things, sexed all the women, killed all the bees, ate all my cheese cake, head-butted all the babies, and then died. But then Gimpy undied, and he now spends his days drunkenly skeezing on Drunkenhobo on CWCki Forum chat. Truly a fitting end to the life of a great man.